Mind you, this fucking tub is super fucking huge I swear.
I can't recall how I plunge my dickhead into this tub of protein, but before I know what the protein was going on I was already texting my girlfriend this picture of protein for her to get me some, like what all women should do for men, other than the usual making sandwiches fetching beers and stuff. They are happy doing those things.
So now, we all know how beer gets you laid (Colt 45), getting kids unknowingly from sperm smelling like beer, and get us unwanted body fats at our tummies. Why not we all come around and add a scoop of whey into our Carlsberg tonight.
What the fuck's going on here.
Some fucktards were seriously having some serious discussion on how they can seriously make a serious whey protein beer. Seriously. http://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/beer-protein-powder-200562/ you can check them out from this link. Come on folks, at the end of 2 bottles of protein beer your balls would probably have 5kg worth of sperm inside.
Back to the topic, proteins. I'll just summarise the whole dump of info I digged through before I bought my first tub of EASY-TO-MIX, or whatever you call it.
I found out that this...
Is made up of this...
So back to the topic, choosing the right semen for your face.. Or in other words, how do you really choose the right protein for yourself?
Just follow this chart to gauge how much protein you should take every day according to which category you're in.. (taken from http://www.fitsugar.com/How-Much-Protein-Should-I-Eat-165578)
The type of protein you prefer in your lifestyle, fucking read it yourself here. http://www.livestrong.com/article/322375-the-types-of-protein-shakes/
I am personally taking in Whey protein. Fast and stuff. It's my own preference tho. You may want to consult the person selling these protein powders, or your boyfriends and fuck buddies whether you should spend money on something that can be produced in abundance for free.
Back to the topic, proteins. I'll just summarise the whole dump of info I digged through before I bought my first tub of EASY-TO-MIX, or whatever you call it.
I found out that this...
Every sperm is sacred.
For your info, this is a predicted structure of C44189H71252N12428O14007S321.
I shit you not fuckers. Google it all you want. It's C44189H71252N12428O14007S321
And C44189H71252N12428O14007S321 is actually this.
Oh me again?
And I found out that sperm, let's call it semen from now. I found out that semen, is a powerful anti-oxidant. It is considered great in diminishing and reducing wrinkles. It also makes the skin smooth. And one squirt of semen session on your face is $250 for 10 minutes.
I shit you not ladies.. and gays.
I am telling you now that every potent men with ejacuable semen is rich. I would have been a billionaire if I kept my semen from the day I first started masturbating at the age of 6. Go and google this Norwegian semen company called Bioforskning or follow this link http://www.smashinglists.com/10-weirdest-ingredients-used-in-beauty-products-and-cosmetics/ if you don't believe what the semen I'm semen-ing about.
So back to the topic, choosing the right semen for your face.. Or in other words, how do you really choose the right protein for yourself?
Just follow this chart to gauge how much protein you should take every day according to which category you're in.. (taken from http://www.fitsugar.com/How-Much-Protein-Should-I-Eat-165578)
| Weight in pounds | Weight in kilograms | Protein per day if you're not very active (kg multiplied by 0.8) | Protein per day if you're active or pregnant (kg multiplied by 1.3) | Protein per day if you're extremely active or in training (kg multiplied by 1.8) |
| 100 lbs | 45.5 kg | 36.4 g | 59.2 g | 81.9 g |
| 105 lbs | 47.7 kg | 38.2 g | 62 g | 85.9 g |
| 110 lbs | 50 kg | 40 g | 65 g | 90 g |
| 115 lbs | 52.3 kg | 41.8 g | 68 g | 94.1 g |
| 120 lbs | 54.5 kg | 43.6 g | 70.9 g | 98.1 g |
| 125 lbs | 56.8 kg | 45.4 g | 73.8 g | 102.2 g |
| 130 lbs | 59.1 kg | 47.3 g | 76.8 g | 106.4 g |
| 135 lbs | 61.4 kg | 49.1 g | 79.8 g | 110.5 g |
| 140 lbs | 63.6 kg | 50.9 g | 82.7 g | 114.5 g |
| 145 lbs | 65.9 kg | 52.7 g | 85.7 g | 118.6 g |
| 150 lbs | 68.2 kg | 54.7 g | 88.7 g | 122.8 g |
| 155 lbs | 70.5 kg | 56.4 g | 91.7 g | 126.9 g |
| 160 lbs | 72.7 kg | 58.2 g | 94.5 g | 130.8 g |
| 165 lbs | 75 kg | 60 g | 97.5 g | 135 g |
The type of protein you prefer in your lifestyle, fucking read it yourself here. http://www.livestrong.com/article/322375-the-types-of-protein-shakes/
I am personally taking in Whey protein. Fast and stuff. It's my own preference tho. You may want to consult the person selling these protein powders, or your boyfriends and fuck buddies whether you should spend money on something that can be produced in abundance for free.
That's all about protein. Hope you enjoy semen as much as I do after reading.
